IN TODAY'S EPISODE...

Posted at 7:22 a.m. ET

CUE ORGAN MUSIC:  In today's episode, Caroline Kennedy, daughter of fame and fortune, is crushed by press reports saying that she had to bow out of the race to replace Hillary Clinton in the Senate because of problems involving taxes, a nanny, and possibly her marriage.

ORGAN MUSIC UP:  At the same time, David Paterson, wily governor of New York and son of Democratic power Basil Paterson, is ready to appoint Kirsten Gillibrand, upstate congresswoman, to Clinton's seat.

PATRIOTIC ORGAN MUSIC:  Meanwhile, back at the State Department, Hillary Clinton, who has it in for Caroline because Caroline backed Obama in the primaries, is in her glory, with a wide smile, introducing the president and vice president to the State Department staff.  She is satisfied that Caroline didn't get her seat.

SINISTER ORGAN MUSIC:  But in Albany, State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, son of the powerful Mario, and who was once married to Caroline's cousin, and who wanted to be senator, steams over the rejection by the hated David, and plots revenge as he paces his office.

HAPPY ORGAN MUSIC:  As all this is going on, Rose, daughter of Caroline, whoops it up at Harvard, hanging with guitarist Mike Einziger, who's some kind of important music guy.

FUNEREAL ORGAN MUSIC:  Watching are liberal Dems, seething, angry, weeping, because new Senator Kirsten Gillibrand is backed by the NRA.  There is talk of revenge, plots, betrayal.

Brought to you by Tide, for whiter whites and bluer blues.  Tune in tomorrow...

January 23, 2009.